Sitting at Jesus' feet, beholding & worshipping Him can feel such a waste of time, as we feel we're not producing anything.
Truth is, in encountering God we let go of control.
Control is what maintains the illusion of productivity 'using time well', but we just reproduce more frustration, slave mentality & oppression. A fruit of control is our innate need to understand and gain knowledge of absolutely everything! As they say 'knowledge is power', and we want power, to be in control, so that we will feel safe.
It's just not possible to 'understand' God's peace, and His love. It passes understanding.
To know (experiential heart knowledge) the love of Christ which passes knowledge (natural head knowledge); that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3.19
In the Kingdom of God, love is power, love never fails. When we relinquish our lust for natural knowledge, so as to remain in control, and surrender to the heart knowledge of Jesus Christ, the resulting fruit is people, Churches, and communities filled with all the fullness of God.
Let go, come to His feet, rest In Him, and choose the better part. He will reveal the Father, your father to you. He will give you clarity, revelation & understanding that infinitely surpasses natural understanding. He will heal your bruised, wounded & rejected heart & fill you with joy unspeakable. You will face life renewed, brave, confident from on top of His shoulders.
This world, that feels cold, cruel, harsh & hostile to your sensitive heart will no longer instill fear & intimidation in you, for the name of your Father will keep & protect you from the evil in it. Your light will not be hidden, His love, light & life will penetrate this world's darkness. It all begins by knowing Him in intimacy & worship. He is looking for worshippers. He is looking for you. His eyes are on you. Waste your time with Him, let Him redeem your time, & transfer His identity, security, purposes & plans into your heart & life. Love & shalom. Pastor Scott